The Doldrums

So, it's official. I've hit the doldrums, at least temporarily.

For those of you who don't know, the doldrums are an area of water (evidently near parts of the equator) where the pressure and winds and tides are exactly wrong for nautical navigation. The winds can completely disappear, leaving the water without any swell or tide, and ships can be stranded for days, even weeks. The conditions in the doldrums can also lead to more severe weather than other parts of the open sea, making it a less than ideal place for a sailing vessel.

Now, since I have not recently taken up sailing, nor am I anywhere near the equator, I'm sure you all understand that I'm speaking metaphorically.

I'm not really sure what it is in particular, though it's almost certainly a combination of multiple factors, and I imagine most of the guest teachers experienced something similar. I just feel sort of listless, puttering about with no direction.

In all honesty, I should be feeling pretty good. I paid my deposit for Herrang Swing Camp, the biggest dance event in the world, so it's certain that I'll be going there in July. I went to two parties over the weekend, and had fun at both. The first was my favorite bartender's 40th birthday, at his pub, and there was a band, and whatnot. I also met another American there, a fellow named Victor who has been living here since 1988. He was a hoot, and we got along great. That one went pretty late. The other was a housewarming party for a colleague who just moved into a new (and very nice) apartment. It was fun, as well, though the conversations were tough; most of the people spoke over top of each other, making it night impossible for me to understand anything most of the night. We did all have particular fun at one point when our hosts had to go out briefly to pick something up: we rearranged the living/dining room, so that the table and couches were in the opposite positions they had been when our hosts left. Their reactions were pretty great when they returned. I also went on a nice walk to a nearby village called Albersbach with another colleague of mine, on a really beautiful day.

So, in short, I am still having fun, and good times, but I'm also just...blah, sometimes.

One thing I know is contributing to that is that I made some rather large attendance mistakes with my 11th grade dance class, so that their report cards have to be altered, which makes rather a lot of work for the administration (unfortunately, I cannot fix that myself). So I feel like a fool, or the rookie that screws up what is arguably the easiest part of the job. So that both contributes to, and is fed by, this listlessness I've been feeling.

The main part of it, most likely, is simply the let down of "after Olaf" catching up to me. At Olaf there was so much going on, all the time, and here I'm on my own so often. I think it's more or less something of an involvement-withdrawal. I'm pretty involved here, and try to keep that up, but it's still a pretty big difference. There are things I can, and want to keep doing, but sometimes keeping my forward momentum going is tough. It's a temporary funk, and honestly, I feel better now than I did over the last four days or so, but it's still just a sort of background feeling.

As for what else is going on, I'm finishing casting my actors in Center Stage, and we will begin rehearsing our sketches (finally!) this week. I am looking forward to that, and I think it'll be a good show, all things considered. There are some interesting logistical details to be worked out, since the room we'll be playing in has four large pillars in it, but we'll figure it out.

My apologies for the long space between blogs. I will hopefully keep them more frequent from now on.

All the best.